Devil laughters.

Hello, my cable isn't working right now. :/

Can't upload the pictures, I promise I'll blog tomorrow no matter what [:

If I don't, then means my laptop really broke down, *which is no way*.

For now, I need some time for myself to rant over here.

It'll be a long one, sorry; need not read it.

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I'm having this devastated feeling, as if I'm in an abadoned world. I feel that everybody I know are angry with me right now. (Which is fairly true I guess)':) Yes I admit, I'm irresponsible for my irregular attendance of Cca and didn't really help much (or never helped at all I don't know) in the Camp Proposal. I'm sorry. &Also, being so extra; affecting others feelings during outings.

Ohwell, there's really something I wanted to say, I don't want to create misunderstandings. - I'm sorry for running away during part of the outing, partly because I was moodswinging at that time (no idea why). &then I seems to be absorbing everything my friend said; that you people doesn't really treats me as a friend, happily arcading while I'm in the dark corners of life. I so wanted to return back & apologise, but he gave me the devil laughters and words of "See, they're even happier without you sticking around with them, you better go home." - Thats why I've been running away and going back and running away. (&It's not like I'm saying bad things about my friend, I just need you people to know the truth, I don't want to get unwanted remarks and stuffs, that's all.`)

&To Someone: I didn't meant to slip that promise out of my mind too, (...)

p/s} I'm truly sorry, for everything. D: -

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Loads of things happened this week, I'm already getting afraid to know what'll happen the next few weeks of holidays. (Maybe even after holidays.) I really don't know whose there when I need one. It seems like everytime the ones whom you don't want them to be there are there, but the ones whom you seriously want them to be there aren't there. I prefer to love than be loved, honestly. (Tho sometimes not really') I hate the imperfections. (Who doesn't?)

I'm tired, tired of being so not myself and getting to hear all those people rants while gaining empathy whereas I'm always the one trying not to show my feelings out; cause nobody cares. &I'm so tired of life that I'm finally revealing all my feelings out, happy now? Blanche's actually horrible, right?

Who do you turn to when the only person in the world that can stop you from crying,

is exactly the one making you cry?